A fight broke out in the bar last night. It was a cat fight which meant that it was about a guy. When two women fight, it’s always about some guy they both dated. It doesn’t ever matter if either one of them has seen the guy for three years. Sometimes men fight over women but that’s not as common. Usually, men fight over being looked at wrong, getting bumped into or losing in pool. Women always fight about a guy. This one was no different. It appeared that one of them had dated him and the other was dating him.
Usually with guys, you can see it coming. It bubbles up slowly with looks and stares and posturing which means, if you’re alert, you can nip it in the bud before it becomes a whirlwind. With women, it just erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. The one last night did.
It started off as usual: Female A (the ex) decided to punch Female B (the current) in the face as she walked by her. Then Female B grabbed hold of Female A’s hair and held on for dear life pulling her to the ground. After that, it was a whirlwind of claws, hair pulling and expletives. Women are hard to separate in a fight because they simply won’t let go of each other’s hair. These were no exception. There’s also the fact that they won’t stop just because you’re in the middle and a lot of times, they want to include you in the scratch-fest. I’ve had my face torn and bloody a few times from women I was trying to break up. Usually, men can be separated and they won’t take a shot at you unless they think you’re coming in to take a shot at them. Women don’t care. They know you won’t hit them and they’re usually so insane at that point they’d claw a tiger.
Last night, I let them tire out a bit and then made sure I had plenty of back-up. Then, covering my eyes and my nads, I went in like Jim on Wild Kingdom. Myself and a few patrons finally got them apart while the boyfriend sat there like fucking Marlon Perkins. He was probably still sleeping with both of them and didn’t want to take sides and ruin one or both booty call situation. Asshole.
Well, I kicked them all out. Female A out the front and then after five minutes, Female B out the back. I also told them to never come back. That usually lasts a few months and then they’re back and sorry as hell and wanting to be reinstated. The boss usually says okay but if I had it my way—anyone who starts a fight would be out forever. And I’m equal opportunity on that—men and women are the same.
Usually with guys, you can see it coming. It bubbles up slowly with looks and stares and posturing which means, if you’re alert, you can nip it in the bud before it becomes a whirlwind. With women, it just erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. The one last night did.
It started off as usual: Female A (the ex) decided to punch Female B (the current) in the face as she walked by her. Then Female B grabbed hold of Female A’s hair and held on for dear life pulling her to the ground. After that, it was a whirlwind of claws, hair pulling and expletives. Women are hard to separate in a fight because they simply won’t let go of each other’s hair. These were no exception. There’s also the fact that they won’t stop just because you’re in the middle and a lot of times, they want to include you in the scratch-fest. I’ve had my face torn and bloody a few times from women I was trying to break up. Usually, men can be separated and they won’t take a shot at you unless they think you’re coming in to take a shot at them. Women don’t care. They know you won’t hit them and they’re usually so insane at that point they’d claw a tiger.
Last night, I let them tire out a bit and then made sure I had plenty of back-up. Then, covering my eyes and my nads, I went in like Jim on Wild Kingdom. Myself and a few patrons finally got them apart while the boyfriend sat there like fucking Marlon Perkins. He was probably still sleeping with both of them and didn’t want to take sides and ruin one or both booty call situation. Asshole.
Well, I kicked them all out. Female A out the front and then after five minutes, Female B out the back. I also told them to never come back. That usually lasts a few months and then they’re back and sorry as hell and wanting to be reinstated. The boss usually says okay but if I had it my way—anyone who starts a fight would be out forever. And I’m equal opportunity on that—men and women are the same.
3 Comments:
equal opportunity - I guess that's fair... but I guess fighting girls are less likely to be troublemakers that will come back and put up a fight with anyone...(or will there always be a new rival waiting?)
You should have thrown a tub of jelly on the little vixens.
I very seldom see a "catfight" - but when they first occure they are enjoyable.
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