I.

Well, Ole’ St. Patty just had his big day. I call it “amateur night”. On St. Patty’s Day and New Years Eve, you tend to get a lot of people who just don’t get out that much and all the sudden think they are drinking God’s again. These are the nights when tips are great but it makes you wonder if the hassle is worth the hustle. People were literally three to six deep at the bar all day and night. You try to take them as they come but you lose track and you just help who you can (or who tips the best). On these nights you stop being a bartender and really become a sweaty octopus who’s the only thing between the maddening crowd and the “Irish” drinks.

And everyone was certainly drinking “Irish”: Guinness Stout, Jameson, Bushmills, Baileys and Green Beer. I even put green food-coloring in a bottle of cheap Tequila and it sold like mad. Green Jello shots were at a premium too. It was nuts. It always is. One drink that I particularly like and sold a lot of was the “Irish Car Bomb”. Fill a shot glass three quarters of the way up with Jameson (some use Bushmills) and the rest of the way up with Baileys. Then set it beside a half a pint of Guinness. You drop the shot into the Guinness and then toss it all back. Tastes great but use caution.

I’m part Irish and I guess nobody has to be to enjoy this night out. Everyone is famous for something and we got stuck with being famous for being drunks. So be it. We’re not alone and we certainly weren’t alone this past March 17th. Hope you all had a good one.


II.

Here’s a St. Patty’s Day joke:

A bartender is sitting with a few customers at one end of the bar. At the other end sits a man by himself. Another comes in, sits beside this loner and orders a Guinness.
(use Irish accents for both)

Man: I’ll have a Guinness.
Loner: I’m drinking Guinness too. Here’s to Guinness.
(they toast and drink)

Loner: Where are you from, Lad?
Man: I’m from Ireland.
Loner: I’m from Ireland too. Here’s to Ireland.
(they toast and drink)

Loner: Where are you from in Ireland?
Man: I’m from Dublin.
Loner: I’m from Dublin too. Here’s to Dublin.
(they toast and drink)

Loner: What school did you go to?
Man: I went to St. Mary’s.
Loner: I went to St. Mary’s too. Here’s to St. Mary’s.
(they toast and drink)

Loner: What year did you graduate in?
Man: I graduated in ‘75
Loner: I graduated in ’75 too. Here’s to ’75.
(they toast and drink).

At the other end of the bar another customer asks the bartender what is going on to which he looks down at the two men and then replies: “Oh, the fucking O’Malley twins are drunk again.”

(hope it translates as well written as it does said.)