I’ve heard it said that Tequila is the only alcohol that is a stimulant and not a depressant. I don’t know if this is true but it sure seems to stimulate those who drink it into doing some stupid shit. I suppose that’s why it’s mentioned in country songs. Tequila comes in three types: Smooth, Shit and Diesel. The first type is the only kind that one should drink without “training wheels” (i.e. salt and lime). The other types shouldn’t even be drunk. If you are of the mindset that Jose Cuervo is “good stuff” then you are either semi-retarded from drinking too much of it or you just haven’t tried anything better. Do yourself a favor next time and, if you must have a shot of Tequila, try something off the top shelf without training wheels. If you don’t like that, then go back to Cuervo, drink it at home and get on some sort of government breeding program. And stop dancing on my damned tables when I’m trying to work…unless you have a tube-top (then audition first).