More crazy bar shit. Some bum-looking dude passed out in the bathroom stall after shitting all over the place. Ahh those are the days that try men’s souls. What the hell is going on anymore? Can’t people keep themselves together enough to take a dump IN the toilet? Is that too much to ask? If it’s not these wizards, it’s the guys who try to puke from the 3-Point line and end up like Shaq shooting free throws. Get it together people.

Enough bodily errors. Other than Shit-Man, last night was pretty low key. Had a couple of tourist chicks from England come in and decide to drink each other out of an accent. What a great accent it is too. I just love English from a Brit woman or a Kiwi or an Aussie or anyone else who was once owned by England but us. Ours is cool to them so it all works out. Anyway, these two British Gals were traveling all over the U.S. together and had worked their way by hook and by crook all the way from NY to LA. They said they traveled in over 25 states and were “discovering” what America was all about. It seems to me they were doing it bar by bar—but then again, maybe that is the best way to discover what Americans really think. Get us a little saucy and we’ll pick our own pickled brains for you. At least they actually ‘like’ America. I sure get sick of tourists who always talk about how much better it is where they live. I’m sure plenty of Americans go around the world doing the same shit but I don’t and I’m sick of it.

Anyway, I showed the girls some good American hospitality and a few of our more famous drinks and then continued relations after hours. I’m a bit hung over today but I can attest that American/British relations have seldom been better! Those late night tri-lateral “talks” seem to smooth some things out.

Ah, I love tourists.

How do you folks feel about “Ladies Nights”? You know, the nights when women get to drink for free or on the cheap simply because they are women? Of course the real reason behind this is to bring in a bunch of guys who’ll buy a bunch of drinks because they want to be around a bunch of drunk women. I don’t mind Ladies Night at all, in fact, I kind of like it. You see, I don’t mind being around a bunch of drunk women.
What’s strange though are those nights when it’s NOT ladies night and you see groups of women come in and try to see who can work the most drinks off of guys. I’ve actually seen women have contests to see who can get the most free drinks before they all escape together leaving some schlup with the bill. I’m not a schlup so it doesn’t bother me too much personally but I’ve seen some pretty wicked games out there. It can get sinister.

I’m certainly not implying that women “owe” men something for accepting “free” drinks but I’ve seen some women work some mean systems on guys, promising just about anything and then disappearing into the night when he goes to the john. She got a free ride and he got duped. Oh well, there’s a sucker born every minute, right?