04.24.06

I actually had someone put a spell on me the other night. I’m not kidding (or at least they weren’t kidding). They ordered a drink, I made it, they didn’t like it, and so I made them another. They didn’t like it either, so I made yet another. They didn’t like it and I refused to make a fourth drink when I’ve already made thousands just like it and was pretty sure I had it down. So, they stood up, and began to mumble at me in a strange language. Then told me that I was henceforth cursed. No telling what exactly the curse was though. I hope they didn’t make me 30 IQ points lower, cause then I might believe in magic and really be freaked out.

I used a little magic of my own and made them disappear—at least from the bar.

Now, I’ve had a lot of strange things happen in my day but a magic curse? Give me a fucking break. I’m not a believer in magic or witchcraft or any other tomfoolery. It’s just a bunch of medieval bullshit.

Look, I know some folks are hard-pressed to believe in something to feel special but I just wished that they could keep it out of the realm of make-believe or at least far away from me. And if nothing else, I wish they’d learn what fucking drink they are trying to order before they turn into the Wicked Witch of the West. Besides, if they really knew magic, why not just conjure up your own fucking drink in the first place? That way, it’d be perfect and we’d all be happy. Morons. Magical, pathetic, morons oh my.